The week started out a bit bumpy but has progressively gotten better.
Walter had an appointment with the community college on Monday about getting his financial aid straight for next semester. That whole fiasco gives me a headache - but he did get a surprise when he found out that the CPR class that he had taken at work counted as 2 credit towards his degree.
Then this evening, he was having the usual rant about the cost of auto insurance, so we got him a quote from Nationwide. Now if everything holds up they will be able to save him $1,200 a year!!! He was doing the happy dance there for a while afterwards.
Email & Newsletter Gleanings:
Thought For the Day:
AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIS GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS CRYING AND AT TIMES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE COULD HEAR SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...
"WE ARE ALMOST DONE, ALBERT...TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT. LIFE WILL GET BETTER, ALBERT."
AS HE APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE TODDLER'S TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAID AGAIN,
"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT... WE WILL BE HOME SOON, ALBERT..."
AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO CRY AS A YOUNG WOMAN IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID,
"SIR, I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."
THE OLD GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING,
"MISS, MY GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN.......... I'M ALBERT.”
My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1500 at a given time.
Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to argue," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $3,000 in it."
Two men were talking. The first says, "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of."
The second man replies, "Forgets everything, eh?"
"No, she remembers everything."
A wealthy socialite went to see a famous psychotherapist. He said at the first interview, "Now tell me about yourself."
She needed no second invitation.
At the end of the hour the doctor said, "That will do for now. I'll see you again tomorrow."
The same pattern was repeated several times a week for several weeks.
Finally, in exasperation the doctor said to the woman, "I advise you to take the first train to Niagara Falls, and there take a long, lingering look at something bigger than yourself."
Walter had an appointment with the community college on Monday about getting his financial aid straight for next semester. That whole fiasco gives me a headache - but he did get a surprise when he found out that the CPR class that he had taken at work counted as 2 credit towards his degree.
Then this evening, he was having the usual rant about the cost of auto insurance, so we got him a quote from Nationwide. Now if everything holds up they will be able to save him $1,200 a year!!! He was doing the happy dance there for a while afterwards.
Email & Newsletter Gleanings:
Thought For the Day:
GRANDPA SHOPS
AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIS GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS CRYING AND AT TIMES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE COULD HEAR SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...
"WE ARE ALMOST DONE, ALBERT...TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT. LIFE WILL GET BETTER, ALBERT."
AS HE APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE TODDLER'S TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAID AGAIN,
"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT... WE WILL BE HOME SOON, ALBERT..."
AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO CRY AS A YOUNG WOMAN IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID,
"SIR, I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."
THE OLD GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING,
"MISS, MY GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN.......... I'M ALBERT.”
ATM Correction
My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1500 at a given time.
Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to argue," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $3,000 in it."
Forgiveness
Two men were talking. The first says, "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of."
The second man replies, "Forgets everything, eh?"
"No, she remembers everything."
Psychotherapist
A wealthy socialite went to see a famous psychotherapist. He said at the first interview, "Now tell me about yourself."
She needed no second invitation.
At the end of the hour the doctor said, "That will do for now. I'll see you again tomorrow."
The same pattern was repeated several times a week for several weeks.
Finally, in exasperation the doctor said to the woman, "I advise you to take the first train to Niagara Falls, and there take a long, lingering look at something bigger than yourself."
1 comment:
I see you like cribbage. Please check out the Richmond Cribbage Club. They meet every Wednesday evening at 7:00 pm at Imperial Plaza. Additional information can be found at:
http://www.cribbage.org/clubs/club.asp?club_id=124&sort=club_id&state_filter=VA
Bob
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