Business has been busy. I've been involved in two conferences within three weeks. They have been terrific. I really enjoy meeting with the various doctors and their staff members from all over the country.
Walter has been busy continuing the deforestation of the yard. Last month 24 trees fell and just Tuesday eight more came down, followed today by three more. For now I think we are on hold for taking any more down until all of the logs are neatly stacked at the back of the yard. Click here for before and after yard pictures.
Email & Newsletter Gleanings:
Thought For The Day: "If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people, under the pretense of taking care of them, they must become happy." -- Thomas Jefferson
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than 'going blind!')
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.' (Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam !)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for these tests?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of?) (Did our government pay for this research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that, too.)
And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
A French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person,put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois , put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago, and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellooooo...just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
“Helllooooo? It's been a year!”, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He hasn't called back.
I bet he felt like an idiot.
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