Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Mid-Week Already

It has truly been a full week thus far. Loads of fun getting together the new Smiles of Richmond magazine and even a Smile of Kapaa (Hawaii). There are a couple more to complete but I'm well under way to have them done in short order.

There have been some odd computer things going on, not really sure what's up but it seems to be a problem outside of the office rather than in house. Tomorrow, I'll get started on figuring that out.

We had a terrific rain storm as I left the office today. I'm so glad that I ran out during lunch to pick up stuff from the Fresh Market, otherwise I'd have been a drowned rat coming out of the store.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: "[J]udges ... should be always men of learning and experience in the laws, of exemplary morals, great patience, calmness, coolness, and attention. Their minds should not be distracted with jarring interests; they should not be dependent upon any man, or body of men." - John Adams

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me.. One for you, one for me,' said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.' He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy. 'You won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk?'

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

A Blonde City Girl

A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn.. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here."

The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know. How would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"

"That's simple -- by the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"

The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on!"

( It's nice to see a blond winning once in awhile.)

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