Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Wednesday

Well a few of us at work are testing out some aromatherapy oils to see if they do what they purport to do. We opened up a jar of Rosemary to for our cubicle - should be relief for Migraines, stress, nervous tension, hot flashes, poor circulation, memory enhancement and a few other items. I've got a couple of others to try out at home. Lavendar - sleep; Marjoram - suppose to help prevent snoring. So we'll see how they work out. The apartment is smelling good.

Miss Heather is off beginning tomorrow - when she gets back in July she'll be Mrs. Heather. I hope they have wonderful weather Saturday for their beach wedding and their honeymoon cruise.

Walter order in Chinese food for the evening, and had dinner with me. Nothing special just dinner.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.

University of Montana

A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled DOWN one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says:

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

And finally, the #1 reason why God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

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