Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Tuesday

The morning of the weird and creepy dream. I hate it when I wake up with them. Hopefully this weirdness will pass shortly and I can get it off my mind. Dean even had a weird one too. Let's just hope that they all go away from thought for the rest of the day.

We had an unusual occurrence around here about midday, the UPS guy was whizzing up and down the roads of the neighborhood like Mario Andretti in the last lap of the Indianapolis 500. Either he or his vehicle was having a bad day. It was just so unusual to see them whipping around like that in those boxy trucks.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Wisdom from an Irish Tombstone: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

"Surprises"

My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My Biggest Surprise."

Not until the end of the school year did we see Marina's work. It read: "I got up this morning and I ran into Mommy and Daddy's bed and hopped in. But it wasn't Mommy at all. It was Mrs. Del Campo!"

What her essay neglected to say was that we had called Mrs. Del Campo late at night to stay with our children while I took my wife to the hospital to have our third child.

Turn About

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

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