Sunday

Welcome to our wonderfully rainy Sunday morning. I woke up this morning to the sound of rain and Robins and Blue Jays calls just outside the window. They were very vocal. Carla has been crashed on the bed next to me for most of the night and morning. The sound of the rain has her mellowed out and just spending the day snoozing on the bed.

I've been working on the Italian lessons. There were a couple today that really struck a cord. A cross between some of the long ago taken French and Spanish, at least is was 'familiar'.

Walter came down for dinner - we grilled up some mini-burgers with mixed vegetables and a macaroni salad. Now the vegetables and macaroni salad weren't all that - a slight disappointment compared with what we've usually gotten from Ukrops. Oh well, tomorrow we're having pinto beans with either cornbread or spoonbread. I've got to stop on the way home to get the right ingredients on the way home from work otherwise we won't be having anything to go with the beans.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: “A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one.” — J. P. Morgan

Here's Something I'll Bet You Didn't Know (Honey Cures).
Note: The Honey referred to here is Fresh or Raw unprocessed and preferably Local Area honey. Commercial processing of the honey destroys many of the beneficial factors in the product. Make sure you read the label to make sure that it is unprocessed/raw honey and has not been processed or Pasteurized.

Many major stores carry both types so read the label. The history of the use of honey goes way back to ancient Egypt for medicinal use and the t treatment of wounds and many of the benefits were confirmed during WW2 in a study done in a Army Medical facility in Louisiana with wounded solders. However, most of this was swept under the rug by modern Physicians and Drug Companies.

Honey is anti-bacterial and though it sounds ludicrous like an old wives tale, it is an excellent dressing for cuts, and abrasions to promote healing and reduce or eliminate scarring. I speak from experience on this one.

Cinnamon & Honey:
Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on honey and cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases.

Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, on its issue dated 17 January, 1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:

HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack.

Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.

ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.

TOOTHACHE:
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a day until the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As entioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS:
Those sufferings from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.

GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural Ingredient which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.

LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringw orm and all types of skin infections.

WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in these bodies even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.

FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

BAD BREATH:
People of South America, first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restore hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!

Saturday

I spent a lazy morning in bed. The temperature had slipped down into the upper 40's last night and made me want to just snuggle down amongst the covers all morning. The view from the patio doors was so inviting, until I opened the door, burr. What a tease! Oh, to have been able to swap yesterday's temperature with todays. It would have been great.

I did some more work on my Italian lessons today. It is coming along. I do hope to continue improving as the days go by.

I snapped a couple more photos of a Robin in the back today. I got one of a Bluejay, but it wasn't worth doing anything with.

After a brief nap this afternoon, Walter & I headed out to Mom & Dad's for dinner. We gathered up Carla as well and took her with us. It was nice to get her out of the apartment for awhile.

Dad & Andrew had been fishing today and brought home a whale of a catch. So fresh fish was the meal of choice. Delicious! Mom always does a great job of frying up fish.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: “Everything that deceives can be said to enchant.” — Plato

TAP ON THE SHOULDER
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Childhood
When my wife's sister, Patty, was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Rory, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end. One night, when Rory and his family were visiting, everyone gathered around the television to watch the Miss America pageant. When Patty asked if Rory could stay over, the parents hesitated, wondering if the time had finally come to discontinue the tradition. At that moment, the pageant host announced a contestant's measurements: 36-22-36.

"Rory," his mom asked, "what are those numbers?"

The boy thought for only a moment before responding, "Ninety-four?" Rory got to spend the night.

Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ......do we buy hot do gs in p ackages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America .. ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Cadet Sign
When my brother was a cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, there was an overhead walkway with a sign reading "Bring Me Men."

As my parents were touring the grounds during Parents' Weekend, they could tell that some of the cadets were homesick. The sign had been changed to "Bring Me Mom."

Wrong Mower Guy
Top 10 Signs You've Hired The Wrong Guy To Mow Your Lawn
10. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag
9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of 13 cats
8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher
7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head
6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher
5. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system
4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings
3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus
2. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks
1. No toes

Worst Horse Ever
A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has ever seen. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.

The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.

The race begins and the horse is immediately 10 lengths behind the pack. So the jockey gives the horse an sharp thwap on the shoulder.

Nothing.

He then gives him a series of strikes on the rump.

Nothing.

He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.

The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says "Give it a rest with that whip, will ya, buddy? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver milk."

Quality of Life
A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

A Little Gun History Lesson
In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated
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China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million 'educated' people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
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It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:

Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 %
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 %
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 % (yes, 44 %)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300% . Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!

It will never happen here? I bet the Aussies said that too!

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months... Since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed. There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY. Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.

You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.

Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding citizens. Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late!

The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind him of this history lesson.

With Guns...........We Are "Citizens".
Without Them........We Are "Subjects".
During W.W.II the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!

Note: Admiral Yamamoto who crafted the attack on Pearl Harbor had attended Harvard U 1919-1921 and was Naval Attaché to the U. S. 1925-28. Most of our Navy was destroyed at Pearl Harbor and our Army had been deprived of funding and was ill prepared to defend the country.

It was reported that when asked why Japan did not follow up the Pearl Harbor attack with an invasion of the U. S. Mainland, his reply was that he had lived in the U. S. And knew that almost all households had guns.

Wednesday

Here we are at the middle of the week. Work has been busy and we are working on several big projects.

I had a nice lunch today with Alice. She came out from downtown to the Olive Garden.

I've been getting phone calls and text messaging from Sean all day today. It seems that he and Dean have headed down to Bush Gardens for the afternoon and evening. Sean has been able to get Dean on the Griffon, Alpingeist, and Apollo's Chariot. Who knows what they'll be doing next.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Montana State Trooper
In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop in single digits or below. About 3 AM one very cold morning, Montana State Troooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, thre troooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him. The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into 'drive' and hit the gas.

The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 MPH, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning. Trooper Nixon, haaving a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up wiht him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "PULL OVER!"

The man nodded, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.

Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?

Nuns
There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, Say two Hail Marys!

Monday

It surely feels like Spring has retreated this morning and Winter is trying to give it another go. Rumor has it that it is going to rain sometime today, or if it is cold enough possibly snow. Hmmm.

Easter Get Together

This morning before I left for church I was attempting to take pictures of a couple of Robins fighting one another. The fight photos didn't come out well at all, but this one came out quite well.

I boiled a bunch of eggs first thing this morning and packed up the supplies to make deviled eggs. I made choir practice early this morning, by a whole five minutes, but early none the less. We were preparing a special to sing this morning and were running over it a couple of times as a warm up.

A bunch of us gathered at Mom & Dad's this afternoon for lunch. Mom started off the afternoon taking photos. I know that she shot about 60 of me, I was the guinne pig. She did take one that I particularly liked. I did a little editing to adjust the light and such.

After lunch Walter & Dad hid Easter eggs in the backyard for the little kids to find. The kids ran all around the yard looking high and low. Some of those eggs were in the strangest of places, like Walter's shirt pocket! We had a blast watching them and watching Alice fixing the bubble containers for the kids.











Now while, Elda & Tim were busy taking photos of the kids as they were collecting eggs. Mom & I were taking pictures of the kids as well as the flowers in the yard. This is a good one of a daffodil and the May Apples. Those things have multiplied greatly, all from one plant that I dug up on the side of a mountain, who knows how many years ago.













Mom had bubble for the kids as their prizes for the egg hunt. We all were trying to take photos of bubbles. Some came out and some didn't, but this one of Abbey was one of the best ones that I got of the kids.

This is a one of the bubbles that I captured. It was floating above our heads and heading towards the roof when I snapped this.





When I got home this afternoon this little fellow was in the tree across from my car.

Happy Easter

Saturday

What a wonderful day! The weather is delightful. I've been outside this morning pulling weeds from around the flower boxes and sweeping away the leaves that have gathered on the patio. Carla has been romping at the edge of the woods, protecting her turf from the neighborhood cats. She even treed one the other night - kind of a really eerie picture. Tweat has been singing back to the other birds. She and the Robins have been 'talking'.

I've managed to start the sorting process for the upcoming move. Time to decide what goes and what doesn't. There is a bunch of stuff that come with me that's not going to continue on the journey with me. Unnecessary stuff.

Carla has crashed next to the dining room table. I think all the running around has tuckered her out. Here's a trio of pictures of Carla romping around out back.


I had choir practice this afternoon, we ran for two hours. I think that we will be up to singing in the morning. I'm glad that we had the practice today - it surely beat jumping in tomorrow unprepared.

Walt & I are headed out to Mom & Dad's after church for lunch. A last minute get-together. Mom wasn't sure if it was going to work out. I had already planned to just have a small lunch with Walter, but...the family time together will be nice.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: “I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic—on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” — C.S. Lewis

1st Friday of Spring

Here we are at the first Friday of Spring, with Easter coming up on Sunday. Dr. Natalie sent along this really interest note about 'Celebrating Easter 2008' it contains some really amazing tibits of information. I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did.

This afternoon, I headed out from work early this afternoon - time to go in for an eye exam. Since I've been working it is time to get some new glasses. It's just the age thing. Not bad vision, just short arms. :)

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day:

Mad Wife Disease
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

'What was that for?' he asked.

'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.

'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained.

'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?'

'Your horse called.'

Thursday

I took this Robin's photo through the window in my office in the early evening, just about quiting time. He was lurking in the shrubbery, trying to hide.

Wednesday

Good morning.

My email was interesting this morning. I hope y'all enjoy it. I'm not sure of it's actual origins but it surely took a whole lot of work to do. It was originally a .gif file (so there was no sound to begin with), but wouldn't upload properly so I made it into a movie so that I could share it.

I talked with Sean this afternoon and he was shook up - it seems that he had stepped on what he thought was about a 6-inch long Copperhead. He was happy to away from the area. I'm just glad that he didn't get bit by anything.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For The Day: “We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.” — C.S. Lewis

Democrat Convention

Another Thought For The Day: "Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!"

Along the same line: Somebody put a LOT of time into this one!!!
Click on the year: 2008

Love in a Mental Hospital
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her mentally stable.

She went to tell Edna the news:

'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound judgment and that you have a sound mind. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Tuesday

I hope that everyone had a great St. Patrick's Day, from the looks of some of email, I'd say that a few people were having much too much of a good time. :)

My day went well, unless you hear otherwise it was busy. Sean called this afternoon. He was telling me that a large bird, either a hawk or eagle landed on their balcony. He was really freaked out over the whole thing. I'm waiting for the cell phone photo that he took. I'm guessing it may have been a hawk, but you never know.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings

A Senior (Driving) Moment

I do believe that I too would be concerned if I saw this occurring.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Top 'o the evening to y'all!

It has been a great day - busy but productive. I've been busy putting together a DVD for the office. It has been a big project, but I'm just about finished with it. If all goes well I'll have it completed first thing in the morning.

The chiropractor worked me over at lunch - boy does it feel good to get cracked!

This evening I stopped by Ukrops and picked up a dinner for two. It worked out so nicely, no cooking or thinking about what to fix. I even got Walter a leprechaun cookie for dessert.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For The Day: “Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me.” — Saint Patrick

How To Start Each Day With A Positive Outlook
1. Open a new file in your computer
2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?
6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel better.

PS: - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw 'G': I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'.

'God, 'u' and 'i' dance.'

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God, as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

Sunday

I headed out this morning for Sunday school & church. We had a group from Atlantic Bible College in for special music and preaching.

I brought home some brunswick stew and barbeque for dinner. One of the girls in the youth department is raising funds for a mission trip to Mexico. A great lunch and a good way to help her out. Walter enjoyed. I even had an extra quart of stew leftover for another night this week.
I broke down and finally....got to my laundry. Four loads later it's just about time to head back across the street to change it over to the dryer. I'll just be happy to have it done. I'll be even happier come June, when I can just do a load every couple of days or so and stay caught up all the time.

This evening I'm going back to church, the choir is singing in the performance of The Living Last Supper. The drama is spectacular and is always a moving experience.

Saturday

So far we have had a wonderful Spring day to enjoy. Quite renewing the perfect weather to stroll about barefoot.

I put Tweat out on the patio to take in the fresh air. About this time she starts 'talking' to the other birds. It makes up for all the time indoors and couped up all winter. Before I got into the apartment I had been taking her outside for large chunks of time from the beginning of Spring up into the late Fall. As long as she's got plenty of water and is up so that no cat can get her I like to let her have the time outside. Shhe seems to really enjoy it. I was able to get this photo of her through the case while she was outside this morning.

I went out this morning to do a bit of shopping. After finding the perfect pants last weekend I wanted to get a couple of more pair, but alas all they had was 1 additional pair in the store. But one is better than none.

I did a little browsing in Marshalls and found a computer bag that will hold my laptop, and it was on clearance too!!! The one I have now is beginning to fall apart and It won't hold up well on an airline flight. So now I'm set for the upcoming trip to Nashville in April and the trip to Ohio in May.

I've been working on cleaning out my desk and getting rid of the unnecessary stuff that I can do away with. No sense in moving junk if I don't have to.

The Robins were having a field day this morning and afternoon. I was able to take a number of photos of them as they were out hunting for their lunch. I had lots of opportunity to capture them in various places around the field. I've been working on getting used to working with the camera. There are still a lot of functions on the camera that I've not got the hang of yet. But it's coming along.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thoughts for the weekend:

• Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
• If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway...

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember!

• A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

Turner Brown

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to by slapping his face and shaking him.

He asks, "Are you Ok??"

In a very weak voice Mike says: "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says: "When I saw the curious look on your face I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."

Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around'."

Possibilities If Women Ruled The World

There can never be too many rolls of toliet paper in a bathroom. How many times have you had to replace the roll?

The "manogram" plainly speaks for itself. Ouch!

The any key idea is cute - could come in pretty handy for those computer novices.

Chaining the toliet seat down makes great sense, especially overnight.

Hey, I've even used this Black & Decker tool kit once or twice my own self.

Thursday

This evening when I got home, I saw this bee trapped on the screen porch. It took me forever to get this one photo. I did enjoy the challenge though. I have had the opportunity to chase bees like this for a couple of years. I'm still trying to get the hang of the new camera. I am going to need to get some more practice in before my trip in the fall, and the practice won't hurt for my regular photos either.

I was planning on heading out to choir practice, but ended up cleaning kitchen cabinets and closet shelves so the apartment maintenance can come in tomorrow to do, I guess an annual pest control spraying. It is just so exciting to have to pull everything thing out and then to put it all back again. Then I went upstairs to do the same at Walter's place. Just stupendous!

When I leave in the morning I'll have to put the bird on the patio and take Carla upstairs and leave her on Walter's deck, since the animals can't be in the apartment during or for two hours after they come in to spray. I'm just glad that the weather is suppose to be cooperative tomorrow. I'd hate to see it rain.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For The Day: “The public cannot be too curious concerning the characters of public men.” — Samuel Adams

DIVORCE VS. MURDER
A calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail !! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription...'

A MasterCard Wedding

You got to love this guy...
This is a true story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University .
It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage
with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank
everyone for coming, many from
long distances, to support them
at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family
and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation
he said he wanted to give everyone
a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of
everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to
everyone, and asked them to
open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy
of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious
of them weeks earlier and had
hired a private detective to tail
them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he
turned to the best man and
said, 'F---you!' Then he turned
to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the
dumbfounded crowd and said,
'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled
first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding
immediately after finding out
about the affair, this
guy goes through with the
charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a
300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the
bride's and best man's reputations
in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless'
commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception
for 300 family members and
friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week
honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face
when they see the 8x10 glossy
of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money
can't buy, for everything else
there's MASTERCARD

Gas Prices!
Gas prices are getting way out of hand!!! This is what my piggy bank looked like after I filled up with gas yesterday.

THE PERFECT MISTAKE
My mother's father worked as a carpenter.

On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to orphanages in China.

On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they were gone. When he mentally replayed his earlier actions, he realized what had happened; the glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen into one of the crates, which he had nailed shut.

His brand new glasses were heading for China!

The Great Depression was at its height and Grandpa had six children.

He had spent $20 for those glasses that very morning.

He was upset by the thought of having to buy another pair. "It's not fair," he told God as he drove home in frustration.

"I've been very faithful in giving of my time and money to your work, and now this." Months later, the director of the orphanage was on furlough in the United States.

He wanted to visit all the churches that supported him in China, so he came to speak one Sunday at my grandfather's small church in Chicago.

The missionary began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting the orphanage. "But most of all, "he said, "I must thank you for the glasses you sent last year. You see, the Communists had just swept through the orphanage, destroying everything, including my glasses. I was desperate. Even if I had the money, there was simply no way of replacing those glasses. Along with not being able to see well, I experienced headaches every day, so my coworkers and I were much in prayer about this.

Then your crates arrived. When my staff removed the covers, they found a pair of glasses lying on top.

The missionary paused long enough to let his words sink in.

Then, still gripped with the wonder of it all, he continued:

"Folks, when I tried on the glasses, it was as though they had been custom made just for me! I want to thank you for being a part of that."

The people listened, happy for the miraculous glasses.

But the missionary surely must have confused their church? With another, they thought. There were no glasses on their list of items to be sent overseas.

But sitting quietly in the back, with tears streaming down his face, an ordinary carpenter realized the Master Carpenter had used him in an extraordinary way There are times we want to blame God instead of thanking him!

I have to remember this in these times of trial with my own family.

May GOD bless your week. Look for the perfect mistakes.

"People are like tea bags- - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

Now "ain't" that just like God to do something like that????????

Peace is not the absence of trouble. Peace is the presence of God.

Tuesday

Ah...Spring has sprung at the apartment complex. They cut the grass today. Now they didn't trim out everything, but you could smell the spring onions in the air. I was telling Alice about it and she said that we could keep Spring over here, because once you start cutting the grass you are committed for the rest of the year.

Carla had a grand time outside this evening, rolling around in the grass and generally getting 'itchy'. She'll be paying for it later, because the grass will give her a fit - allergies. I'll have to run by and pick up some Benadryl or I'll be up all night with her scratching.

I snapped this picture of Carla out in the field. She was hunting around looking for cats to chase. And I was able to get her attention just long enough to for this one shot. She was way....to interested in finding the cats.

This is one of the best photos that I've ever been able that to get of her. It is fantastic compared to her normal pictures. Usually she just rolls around on the floor and shows us her belly and wants to be rubbed or she cock her head at strange angles and poke her nose right up against the lens of the camera.

Walter was able to get out with Patrick for awhile today. It was good that he was just able to get away from the house for a few hours. It's not good for him to be cooped up in the house all day alone.

Sean has reported in on his new classes. They are going great. He tells me that they don't have homework and are able to go ahead in class at their own pace.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

15 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

MID LIFE CRISES
MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS........................

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GAL.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A NICE BIG BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISES

Sunday

Walter made it to Sunday school this morning, however, he really did throw me a curve ball in the process. I gave him a ring about an hour before departure and then went up to get him when it was time to go...the rascal had already left without me! When I got to church, he had already made the coffee for the class.

Everyone was glad to see him up and around. Of course, I was chastised by several individuals for not being in the choir this morning. So, looks like I'll be off to choir practice this evening so that I'll be set to sing next Sunday morning.

I ran a couple of errands after church - I ran by Ross', I've been in there before, and found a darling sundress (the jacket is if-y). If the weather is cooperative in May this will be just the thing to wear to the horse races in Ohio, during our conference.

I almost had a Home Depot moment, as I drove by they had all the new plants out for spring....I almost was compelled to go in and buy some sort of annual. This is really the first year out of the house that I've not really got a place to put new plants in the ground. :( It looks like what's potted made it through the winter. But...the draw of going into the gardening center is strong...I must resist.

I made it to choir practice this evening. Just in time to be brought up to speed for the Easter program. That means an extra practice this week and an early arrival time next Sunday evening. It's not really that bad at all, we do have a good time. In fact, the choir loft was FULL this evening, all 26 seats were taken with a few extras even added in.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

One Canadian's View

Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister of Canada. Written by a housewife in New Brunswick to her Local newspaper, this is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and, you guessed it, I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button.
Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The Canadian Soldier.
3. The British Soldier
4. The Dutch Soldier and
5. The American Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.

Saturday

It's still raining here this morning, but not nearly as hard as last night. A good gentle rain is much better any way.

I heading out this morning to run a couple of errands. I have a package to pick up at the post office, I would be so thrilled if the mailboxes here were larger, or the postman would actually bring back packages on a second day. This running to the post office can really try your patiences. There is a sale at the mall that I'm going to check out, 40% off. Not bad on clothing. Then I need to pick up some new make up, and possibly get my nails done. Much more and I won't be home all day. But I'm thinking optimistically and hope to be home in the early afternoon. I really don't like shopping, but it is a necessary evil sometimes.

I was able to take this shot of a Robin on the side of the road as I was headed out shopping this morning. Not bad for a zoomed in image and it drizzling rain.

Shopping went fairly well. I was able to find a couple of outfits, although I did have to go to four separate stores to put them together. My last stop on the way home was to the nail salon. My nail are all nice and neat once again, and not too long to type.

Walter has been spending the day playing some sort of video game on the television set. It seems to be some sort of Asheron's Call without the internet connection.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...... Share This With Someone To Make Them Smile.

It's called therapy.

Friday

This has been a wonderful day and very productive.

It started raining here late this morning and from what I have heard it is expected to keep it up for the next couple of days. In speaking with several of the doctors today - Lexington, KY was expecting 10-inches of snow, while Charleston, SC had been deluged with rain, which is most likely where all what we are getting came from.

It will help to cut the gasoline that is leaking from one of the neighbors cars. Walt calls it the exploding car. He is anticipating it bursting into flames at any given moment. Especially when there are a bunch of construction workers in the area smoking.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

Thursday

This morning the Robins are out in full voice. You can even hear them calling from inside the building. Ahh...I just saw a wren hop up on top of the deck support - in a nice dry corner, there could be a nest started there. If so, we can stake it out for photos. Hopefully the birds will not try to get inside the building this year. One slipped in through a crack under the downspout last year and built a nest in the wall near Walter's bed. They got Walter up early with all their hungry chirping.

Sean is off for his new class orientation this morning - I hope that he comes back all excited and ready to begin on Monday morning.

Mom was telling me about a tornado that set down in Big Stone Gap, VA last night. She had heard about it on the WRVA this morning.

The damage is tremendous, made all the more amazing to see. The picture is from an area near the museum.

One of Mom's friends from down that way in Tennessee sent her a number of photos from the area. I've been on this road before myself. I do hope that they are able to get thing back to normal in short order.

Not being sadistic or anything, but isn't it usual for trailers to be involved when a tornado touches down? In all the pictures that I've seen there wasn't a trailer in sight.

Wednesday

It has been a full day. Brian, one of my co-workers, has been whisk off by his girlfriend for a birthday trip to New York. The entire office kept the secret (for two months), until she sprung the surprise on him last night. It was really funny yesterday trying to change his appointments on the calendar behind his back, without his catching on. We all managed to pull the wool over his eyes. I hope they have a great time.

Walt & I went out for dinner this evening to Applebee's. The food wasn't nearly as good as it should have been. Oh well, better luck next time.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

BANNED FROM WALMART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least ..

16. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

Walmart

Obama Campaign Poster

Tuesday

Very pleasant day. The birds were singing, and I do believe that the crickets are beginning to chime in here in the mornings and just at dusk.

I've been over to the chiropractor nextdoor for the last couple of days - I pinched something in my shoulder over the weekend. It's really helping. Ah...a great back cracking, it surely makes you feel better.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

THE RULES OF RURAL VIRGINIA ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 60 goes east and west, I-81 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in Central Virginia waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat tater & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

Kenneth
Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers a question time. One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is?

'Kenneth.'

'And what is your question, Kenneth?'

'I have three questions:

First - Whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?

Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?'

Just then the bell rings for recess.

Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.

When they resume, Hillary says, 'Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?' A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.

'John.'

'And what is your question, John?'

'I have five questions:

First - Whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?

Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?

Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

Fifth - What happened to Kenneth?'