Sunday, December 30, 2012

From My Email

MISSISSIPPI DECLARES WAR ON U.S. GOVERNMENT

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.

Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." 

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN 

If you are a REAL Southerner, you won't even need to be told to pass this on! GOD BLESS EVERYBODY!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Painted Ladies

The 'Painted Ladies' of Hatteras Village.
 This one of my favorite photos captured during my weekend on Hatteras Island.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Ferries, Rain and Fog!

Quick trip to Hatteras for the weekend. Turned into multiple misadventures with the NC Ferry System. On our way to Hatteras, we discovered that the road was still impassible on Hwy 12 with out a 4x4; rerouting our trip so we could crossed over on the ferry from Swans Quarter to Ocracoke. Making that change in our travel plans led us to discover the unique restaurant, the Hyde Away Cafe. Following a nearly 3 hour ferry ride we were starved! Once on Ocracoke we were all set for dinner at Howard's Pub and made a bee line there - but it was CLOSED; instead we back tracked and ate at the Topless Oyster. After catching the 9:00 p.m. ferry to Hatteras we finally made it to our hotel. Yippee!!

Saturday we headed north on Hwy 12 to find out just where the trouble with the road was and I did get a photo of the construction working to restore the road.

We got hung up in traffic on Hwy 12 for a little while this afternoon. According to local residences the dump truck ran over a passenger vehicle - the driver suffered at minimum a broken femur and broken arm. She had been med-flighted out prior to our arrival at the scene.

Our second mission was to go back to Ocracoke to explore and take photos at the Ocracoke Lighthouse. As we arrived at the Hatteras ferry we were informed that a fishing boat had run aground in the middle of the channel; blocking the ferry traffic in the channel. There would be no trip back to Ocracoke, the ferry operator told us that they were not expecting for the ferry to resume operation until after high tide (around 9:00 p.m.). On a happy note we did find out where the Emergency Ferry was operating out of and it looked like a promising way to return home on Sunday.

As the day broke with a slight drizzle in the air and pelicans perched on the piling in the marina. After gathering our belongings together and getting the car parked, I headed off to the marina to capture a few of those pelicans on 'film'.

Then we went off in search of the Community Center and the Emergency Ferry in Rodanthe Beach, which turned out to be a very easy find. I did spend some time while waiting for our departure to snap a few shots around the area. I'm glad I did for once we board the ferry the rain began to come down. 

All intentions I had of doing any work went completely out the window, with the combination of the chilly air, warm blanket, and the sound of the rain against the car roof sleep was only moments away. That two hour ferry ride passed by in minutes for one minute we were leaving one dock and the next arriving at our destination.  It was about that time that the fog settled in and gave us quite a fit for the rest of the journey.

All in all however, we found a number of beautiful areas to shoot and hopefully were able to capture some unique views of the island.

Monday, December 10, 2012

New Mexico Chili Cookoff

I received this in email this evening - it is a MUST read!!

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Santa Fe New Mexico.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, MO.

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.”

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI


Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI


Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - 0'BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC


Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT .... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER


Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when Itold her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY


Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI


Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI


Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Bethlehem Walk

Nativity - Bethlehem Walk, presented by Salem Baptist Church
I attended the Bethlehem Walk last night with Mom. We arrived, what we thought was, early - turned out early would have been an hour sooner. The line was long but did move. Once reaching the head of the line we were escorted through the exhibit. The actors remained in character, even going so far as to ask about the 'magic box' that I was carrying.

Tonight is the last performance (3 to 8 p.m.) - get out to see it if you haven't already done so.