Trip Extended

Oh boy, Shrek's business trip has been extended an additional three days. They ended up staying at The Homestead.

Shrek's Business Trip

Hee hee. Mr. Walt is having a grand time on his 'business trip'. Work has been going well and he is enjoying his time at The Inn at Grist Mill Square, a Bed & Breakfast where he is staying. He has been enjoying sleeping in a queen-size bed. Lots of room to spread out. He has informed me that he has been keeping his room clean and even making the bed. He says that they come in and fluff the pillows during the day for him. He appreciates that. He has discovered RC colas - and will bringing a few of them home to enjoy later. Before he leaves he will have an opportunity to soak in one of the local hot springs. With all their physical labor, I'm sure that they all will enjoy the benefits of the hot water and 'bubbles'.

Here is a Lesson in History

The division of the human family into its two distinct political branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, when humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.

The pivotal event of societal evolution was the invention of beer. This epochal event was both the foundation of modern civilization and the occasion of the bifurcation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so it was necessary to stick close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbecues and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement. An interesting evolutionary side note: some of these early liberal men evolved into pseudo-women.

Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the wild west was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Here ends this lesson in world history.

Dad's Fall Class

History and Methods of Science

Reviews some of the pivotal moments in the history of science, focusing on how they changed our understanding of science and the world. Covers topics such as: the Aristotelian and Ptolemaic views of the cosmos, the Copernican revolution and Galileo, Newton’s Principia Mathematica, Einstein’s theory of relativity, Quantum Mechanics and the uncertainty principle, the Big Bang, Darwin and evolution, microbiology, and genetics. Studies the rise of information technology as a major medium of communications in our time. Establishes the claims of natural sciences and how these methods differ from those of the social sciences.

Lance & Shanna's Wedding

The Bride & Groom

The Family. Everyone looks great.

Band Camp

Danielle has been at band camp for the past couple of days. They are working on the show for the coming season. They are using a Western theme. They will all look so cute in their new uniforms and using all new equipment.

Squash the Terrorist

Mama sent this over. It is kind of humorous. Play

Trip to the DMV

Well, Danielle made her first attempt at obtaining her learner's permit. However, there was this one question that stumped her. She didn't miss any questions regarding the signage, just the regular ones. We'll let her try again at the end of the month.

Automotive Adventures

What a day! Starting with an early morning phone call regarding a needed car repair. Next on my first trip out of the day, I get a flat tire. Calvary to the rescue....help with that tire changing.

By dinner, it was time to get with the car repair - the Mr. handled it beautifully. The Oldest helped out greatly by having my tire repaired at the same time.

Crisis averted - cars repaired. YEAH!

Shrek Walter

Walter received his nickname at work, "Shrek". So in honor of this event, I present.........

Massive Rain

The weather has been hideous.  Yesterdays "rain shower" dumped a massive amount of rain.  We had a river around the house, just like when we first moved into this house.  The runoff puddled between our house and our neighbors in a large pond.  The ducks could have landed there and swam around awhile.

Hopefully we won't have storms like that any further this year....

Pout Pout

The van had trouble this afternoon following church.  The starter is acting up again...Dad had to go back out to the church and remove and replace the starter.

I was sorry to have to even ask him to go out in this rainy weather to take care of it.  Just hope that the new starter holds out longer than the other one.

Sipping Vodka

This is too funny –  
 
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
 
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
 
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
 
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.  At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.  He proceeded to talk up a storm.
 
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1.       Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2.       There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3.       There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4.       Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5.       Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6.       We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7.       The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8.       David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9.       When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10.   We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11.   When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “ Eat me”.
12.   The Virgin Mary is not called “ Mary with the Cherry,.
13.   The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14.   Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

We Go Digital

Hey, Hey!  We've gone digital.  I picked up the digital cable box today.  There are lots of things to see.  Check the TV Listings.  I subscribed us to HBO, The Movie Channel, and Starz so be sure to check out those channels also.   There are a number of channels that have been blocked - mainly Pay-Per-View or inDemand Channels.

Carnival Going Ons

The family had a great afternoon of fun and games at the Infineon Carnival. Walter, Danielle and Sean all participated in activities.


Sean playing Moonwalk volley ball.


Everyone on the horizontial bungee jump.


Danielle and those baby goats.


Walter goes for it.


Danielle off for a ride.


Sean takes a ride.


Bull riding by Walter


Danielle takes a turn.


Sean take a turn.


Danielle flies up the wall quick as lightening.


Sean scampering up the rock wall.


Danielle wanting to do kerokee, but fighting stage fright. Turns out that they didn't have the song that she wanted to sing. So the nerves were all for nothing.

Tension Relief

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" and "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Alert!

The Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fishery is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions this spring, and be on the alert for black bears. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity, and to be able to distinguish between black ! bear and bobcat droppings. Bobcat droppings generally contain rabbit and squirrel fur. Black bear bear droppings are larger, have bells in them, and smell like pepper spray. Take care.

Summer Reading Has Arrived!

Walt & Danielle, your new summer project has arrived. Be sure to completely read 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens prior to the beginning of school and complete one of the activities for each chapter as part of your assignment. You will need to take the copy of the book and chapter activities to your English class at the beginning of school this fall.

Good Luck - It will be productive. At least it's not doing a novel.

Poor Kids at the Mall

I just spent several hours observing teenagers who were hanging out at our local mall. I came to the conclusion that many teenagers in America are living in poverty.

Most of the young men I observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group. But that wasn't the sad part . . . many of them were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some of these jeans were so big and baggy that they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some of them must have been ashamed their daddy was short, because his jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most of them had holes ripped in the knees and had a dirty look to them.

It grieved me that in a modern, affluent society like America, there are people who can't afford a decent pair of jeans. I have been thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for the "poor kids at the mall." Then on Christmas Eve, I could go Christmas caroling and distribute jeans to these poor teenagers.

But here is the saddest part..... it was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed me the most. I have never in all of my life seen such "poor" girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys . . . they all had to wear their little sisters clothes. Their jeans were about five sizes too small. I don't know how they could even put them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hipbones. Most of them also had on their little sister's top; it hardly covered their midsection.

Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes. However, it was their underwear that bothered me the most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, also had their underwear exposed. I have never seen anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of . .. . string.

I know it also saddens your heart to receive this report on the condition of our American teenagers. While I go to bed every night with a closet full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. I think their "poorness" is why these two groups gather at the mall, the boys with their short daddies' ripped jeans, and the girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. The mall is one place where they can find acceptance.

So, the next time you are at the mall doing your shopping and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them? And one more thing . . . Will you pray that the guys' pants won't fall down, and the girls' strings won't break?!

Infineon Carnival

This in from Dad. These are just some of the activities that will be going at the Carnival on the 11th. Let's all go and have a great time.

- Moonwalks
- Carnival games with prizes
- Clowns
- Disc jockey
- Mechanical bull
- Rock climbing
- Legendary racecar driver, Mario Andretti (on Sunday only)
- Cotton candy
- 3 lane bungee run
- Dunking booth (thousands of votes have come through!!)
- Hamburgers, hot dogs, veggie burgers
- Micro reality racetrack
- Snow cones
- Human foosball
- Mist tents
- And much, much more!!!!!