Saturday, June 6, 2009

Mid-week Madness

Here we've arrived at the middle of the week and Walter has finally gotten his sunroof fixed. It has taken him since Saturday evening to get the darn thing to work. The first one he picked up locally wasn't even the right one. After a weekend of frustration, and a productive call to North Carolina. He found the right part out in Orange County. He made the road trip all the way up to Orange County to a used parts store there. The first one didn't work out, so he had to go back for a second one. This worked like a charm. Just in time to keep the rain that is predicted for tomorrow out of the vehicle.

This evening we have been peeling lemons to for our first batch of Limoncello. Yum... It only takes 90 days to prepare and another 6 months to age. It will be worth the wait. Ah...Italy.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:


I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant: "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

"My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'Push, push" and "Breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.

The Garbage Truck Rule of Life

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Garbage Truck Rule of Life.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!


Sometimes we ponder over life's interesting conundrums. Here are a few for you.

Can An Atheist Get Insurance Against Acts Of God?

If Man Evolved From Monkeys And Apes, Why Do We Still Have Monkeys And Apes?

I Went To A Bookstore And Asked The Saleswoman, "where's The Self-help Section?" She Said If She Told Me, It Would Defeat The Purpose.

What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?

If A Deaf Person Signs Swear Words, Does His Mother Wash His Hands With Soap?

If Someone With Multiple Personalities Threatens To Kill Himself, Is It Considered A Hostage Situation?

Is There Another Word For Synonym?

Where Do Forest Rangers Go To 'get Away From It All?

What Do You Do When You See An Endangered Animal Eating An Endangered Plant?

If A Parsley Farmer Is Sued, Can They Garnish His Wages?

Would A Fly Without Wings Be Called A Walk?

Why Do They Lock Gas Station Bathrooms? Are They Afraid Someone Will Clean Them?

If A Turtle Doesn't Have A Shell, Is He Homeless Or Naked?

Can Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?

If The Police Arrest A Mime, Do They Tell Him He Has The Right To Remain Silent?

What Was The Best Thing Before Sliced Bread?

How Is It Possible To Have A Civil War?

If One Synchronized Swimmer Drowns, Do The Rest Drown Too?

If You Ate Both Pasta And Antipasto, Would You Still Be Hungry?

If You Try To Fail And Succeed, Which Have You Done?

Whose Cruel Idea Was It For The Word Lisp To Have 's' In It?

Why Are Hemorrhoids Called Hemorrhoids Instead Of Assteroids?

Why Is It Called Tourist Season If We Can't Shoot At Them?

Why Is There An Expiration Date On Sour Cream?

No comments: