Thanksgiving Snapshots

Holiday Weekender

I've been pretty busy during this holiday weekend. Friday - I slept in and then went out to get my hair done. It had been since September so I was in true need of hair color and a good cut. Mom had me do a small bit of sale shopping for her, which turned out to be hardly shopping at all. No crowd. I had not been feeling well during the morning so I ended up getting some daytime cold meds, and nighttime as well, to begin working on getting myself well. The meds worked great - I spent the rest of Friday sleeping.

Saturday was Hokie Day - Dr. Martin had reserved a table for a group from work and his family to watch the Virginia Tech vs. University of Virginia football game at Champps. We had great seats and the HiDef televisions made it easy to watch. There was a sea of burgandy in the room with a smattering of orange & blue. I took Walter along with me and although neither of us follow football with any regularity it was fun. The spectators in the restaurant made it particularly fun to watch. Good game, good food, & good fun. I did get opportunity to phone Danielle in the afternoon - she didn't have time to speak with me. She was busy tending to a house full of sick ones. Fortunately she wasn't sick herself - I know what a big job it is to tend to two sick ones at a time. I hope and pray that I was speaking with her towards the end of their illness and that everyone returns to their normal health in record time.

Sunday already - I feel like I have just about been the laziest human being. I've slept late (past 8:30 a.m.) for the past four days. Taken drug induced naps (daytime cold meds) for the past three and slept like a rock. I'm beginning to think that some of the achiness is from sleeping so much, but I've really needed it.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday

Here we have arrived at the day before Thanksgiving. I trust that everyone is ready for a nice couple of restful days.

This afternoon Walter sold the Volvo. He even got a picture as it was loaded up for its journey to its new home. Walter was pleased to see it going to someone other than the junk yard.

So now he is all set up with the new Jimmy, the tags have been transfered and the insurance changed over. Smooth sailing for now.

This evening I was able to get off from work about a half-hour early which really was nice. We were able to hit the grocery store and be back home before I would have normally left for home. Ahhh. Relaxation.

Walter put in some work after we got back doing prep work on for tomorrow's big dinner. He's doing the cooking so he of course is being particular about the way things are prepared. My temperamental "Chef".

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Civil War Re-enactment

Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event but the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down.

That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at will!"

Christmas Card Idea

I thought this was a great idea....

When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful special people who have sacrificed so much would get.

When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:

A Recovering American soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue,NW
Washington,D.C. 20307-5001

An Atheist In The Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods and said to himself, "What majestic trees!"

"What powerful rivers!"

"What beautiful animals!"

As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant, the Atheist cried out, "Oh God!"

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, You could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head, and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

THE LORD'S PRAYER

Rather cleverly done. This is in two parts, the prayer (in black type) and GOD (in red type) in response. It is very, good.

Our Father Who Art In Heaven.

Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you?
No! , I didn't call you. I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME. You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am.
What's on your mind?

But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallow ed be thy name . . Hold it right there. What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means . . good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doi ng about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control, of everything down here like you have up there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know
Yes, I know; but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you. What about your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money -- all on yourself. And what about the kind of books you read?
Now hold on just! a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!
Excuse ME. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you -- for example.
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
So could I
I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.
Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together -- You and ME. I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. Give us this day, our daily bread.

You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing. You just might get what you ask for. Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now. Keep praying. ( . . pause . . ) Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories. She neve r paid back the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer -- What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it.
Well, at least you're honest But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. You know how unhappy you are -- Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann. Then, I'll forgive you; And the hate and the sin, will be Ann's problem -- not yours. You will have settled the problem as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right. You always are. And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right all right . . I forgive her.
There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight. I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know. But, you're not through with your prayer are you? Go on.
Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
Okay! . Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory -- What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you now. I've really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can see now how great that would be. So, tell me . . .How do I make you happy?
YOU just did.

A Busy Saturday

This morning the Volvo had a temperamental moment and has decided that it was a good day to try to race its way in to oblivion. As I walked out of the apartment I heard what sounded like a jet engine taking off and saw a LARGE plume of black smoke rolling across the parking lot. It was NOT a good thing!

Out the door first thing this morning to head off to the Midas shop to give blood and get an oil change in the Camry. Well, the giving blood didn't go so well. They weren't able to locate a large enough vein in my arm in which to draw blood from - so I wasn't able to give. But, Walter and his jumbo sized veins more than made up for it.

When my oil change was done, I found out that there were 3 nails in my left rear tire. Now it hasn't been a couple of weeks since I had two new tires put on the car - I just about believe that they were in there when I had the others put on. As you can see they were towards the underside of the car. One was in the side wall and couldn't be repaired otherwise I'd have been able to just have the other two plugged.

Once the new tire was put on the car, Walter & I headed off to the credit union so that he could find out what kind of car he could afford. It turned out that he has a WONDERFUL credit rating and was able to qualify for a great rate and to do so all on his own! No co-signers.

Loan secured and we were off to shop for him a new car. Our first stop was Jim's Auto where he found a nice '99 GMC Jimmy, and at a really nice price. He took a quick test drive and it drove quite nicely. Of course then we proceeded to go to just about every used auto lot up and down Jeff-Davis Hwy and Hull Street only to end back at Jim's Auto to test drive the Jimmy for a second time.

On the second trip back, Walt took a second test drive this time out to see Patrick - who checked it over and pronounced it alright. Walt then dropped by to have Dean take a peek at it as well. There were only a couple of minor issues that are basically maintenance related. The only thing that the dealer will need to take care of is a service engine light that is on and to replace a relay that controls the gas gauge. So things are all set for him to pick up the car on Monday evening after work I know that there are some papers that he is going to need to sign as well with the Credit Union, so he may not get the vehicle until Tuesday. But at least he will be set up before Thanksgiving.

Friday

Thought For the Day: It's hard to beat a person who never gives up. - Babe Ruth

Thursday

The day was a bit gloomy, but extremely busy.

This evening Walt came down with his frozen dinner to eat dinner with me. While he was here he got on the phone with Nationwide and set up his new insurance policy. He was quite pleased with the price and the excellent service.

In the meantime I've been working on the new book layout and getting other stuff together.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: Sometime in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself. - Katherine Sharp

Senior Humor

An elderly gentleman had a serious hearing problem for a number of years. He finally went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back a month later.

The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. "How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really? Like a new born baby?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house. After eating the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know...... The one that's red and has thorns......"

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! That's the one," replied the man. Then he turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about "rules being rules", he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cute couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

"Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down so's not to forget it?"

"I can remember that," he says. "You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that so maybe write it down?" she asks.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. I can remember it! 'Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream' - I got it, for goodness sake!"

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy, "So I hear you're getting married?"

"Yep!"

"Do I know her?"

"Nope!"

"This woman, is she good looking?"

"Not really."

"Is she a good cook?"

"Naw, she can't cook too well."

"Does she have lots of money?"

"Nope. Poor as a church mouse."

"Well, then, is she good in bed?"

"I don't know."

"Then why in the world do you want to marry her?"

"Because she can still drive."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three old guys are out walking. The first one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

The second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"

The third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'."

The doctor said, "I didn't say THAT. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful'."

Tuesday

The week started out a bit bumpy but has progressively gotten better.

Walter had an appointment with the community college on Monday about getting his financial aid straight for next semester. That whole fiasco gives me a headache - but he did get a surprise when he found out that the CPR class that he had taken at work counted as 2 credit towards his degree.
Then this evening, he was having the usual rant about the cost of auto insurance, so we got him a quote from Nationwide. Now if everything holds up they will be able to save him $1,200 a year!!! He was doing the happy dance there for a while afterwards.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day:

GRANDPA SHOPS

AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIS GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS CRYING AND AT TIMES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE COULD HEAR SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...

"WE ARE ALMOST DONE, ALBERT...TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT. LIFE WILL GET BETTER, ALBERT."

AS HE APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE TODDLER'S TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAID AGAIN,

"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT... WE WILL BE HOME SOON, ALBERT..."

AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO CRY AS A YOUNG WOMAN IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID,

"SIR, I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."

THE OLD GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING,

"MISS, MY GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN.......... I'M ALBERT.”

ATM Correction

My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1500 at a given time.

Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to argue," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $3,000 in it."

Forgiveness

Two men were talking. The first says, "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of."

The second man replies, "Forgets everything, eh?"

"No, she remembers everything."

Psychotherapist

A wealthy socialite went to see a famous psychotherapist. He said at the first interview, "Now tell me about yourself."

She needed no second invitation.

At the end of the hour the doctor said, "That will do for now. I'll see you again tomorrow."

The same pattern was repeated several times a week for several weeks.

Finally, in exasperation the doctor said to the woman, "I advise you to take the first train to Niagara Falls, and there take a long, lingering look at something bigger than yourself."

Sunday

There was a minor/major computer crisis that arose around here at 2:00 a.m. I got up to let Carla out when I discovered that the computer had shut down. Figuring that it had become unplugged and the battery had died down, I checked all the plugs only to discover that the power cabling had been fried. So, here I sat at 2:30 a.m. worrying about what in the world I'm going to do. My first gut reaction had been that the computer had been totally fried. After I found out that it hadn't, I was able to transfer all the data files off before the battery died down to such a low level that it just shut down the computer.

I was able to get on line using the Archos and find the proper replacement cable and get it ordered. This relieved some of the stress over the situation, but still would not help me out on Monday (the cord will not be delivered until Tuesday - sometime). Still it put me at ease enough to head back to bed.

Before church this morning I put out a couple of help calls and before 1 p.m. I was the proud and grateful owner of a universal power supply. YIPEE! That gave me opportunity to get the computer powered back up and the battery charged. Everything looks good and I am much relieved. My computer guy is dropping by work tomorrow to check the battery, as a favor.

The afternoon was spent visiting with Mom & Dad and picking up a full-size bed from their house for Walter. He'll sleep much better now that he has some extra space to spread out in. Once we got the bed back to Walt's, Mom & Dad came down for a brief visit.

Walter & Dad started cutting up about who was taller and trying to out "stretch" each other upwardly. I do think that Walter won this one, at least by 1/2 a head.




Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.- Kahlil Gibran

Better Preaching

After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better than the preacher we had last Sunday. He spoke for an hour and said nothing."

"Thank you," the visiting preacher replied.

"Yes," she continued. "You did it in fifteen minutes."

Red Tape

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.

"Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?"

"It wasn't a boy," came the reply.

The Old Priest

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.

He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Senator's Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Senator's Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Teddy, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."

Kennedy agreed--it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Ted's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Senator Kennedy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Teddy.

"Amen" said Hillary.

The old priest continued...

"He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Saturday

I had a nice sleep in this morning, not too late, but just late enough. I spent the day puttering around working on the layout of the boss' new book. It is coming right along. I'm about a third of he way through with the initial set up. The graphic elements are what take the longest to gather together.

Walter fixed dinner this evening - Oyster fritters and super-sized jalapeño poppers. The poppers were a true test of intestinal fortitude.

Friday

Here we are at the end of the week once again. We've had a week full of wonderful fall days and brisk chilly fall evenings. I do believe that the forecast has some wet weather in store for us this evening or early in the morning.

Thus the delimia, I left my umbrella at the Embassy Suites during our last conference and now I've got to make the journey back across the river to retrieve it. At least they have it, so I don't need to replace it.

This evening is grocery shopping time. YUCK! I hate really grocery shopping, but it has to be done.

Well we got the grocery shopping done without incident. Meaning not too much extra stuff. Walter sprung for Chinese afterwards. Once we got all the groceries into the house, it wasn't too long afterwards that the rain finally started to come down.

I'm sure glad that we had gotten all the groceries in before it started. Carla was thrilled that we picked up her special doggie treats. She even did her "little dance" for them.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: He who angers you, controls you!

Thursday

The frost is on the grass as well as the car this morning. Time to keep the ice scraper handy. November is getting quite 'Frosty'. Although I've seen some extended weather reports this week that show temperatures in the low 70's by the first of next week. Who knows? It is just a real mixed bag.

The nights are getting cold - this evening Walter popped down here half dressed to get me to finish cutting his hair for him. He made the extra entertaining comment that it was really cold outside.

Wednesday

Burr! it is cold out this morning. I checked the thermometer on the patio this morning and it was right at 30-degrees. Fall has really settled in.

This afternoon I'm getting off from work a couple of hours early to go with Walter to work on his financial aid forms for school. He's planning on carrying enough credits to be "full-time" while working at the same time. The winter semester is probably the best time for him to do it since we are on standard time and they aren't working as late in the evenings as they do the rest of the year. I find the whole financial aid issue very odd - they are basing his financial aid eligibility on his parents income (if it was just mine he might be eligible for more, but they are also looking at Dean's). Totally messed up. That is just a wrong scenario since he has been totally on his own for two years.

I took off a bit early this evening and went out to school with Walter. The financial aid system is an absolute mess. It in general just is frustrating as all get out. Walt did get his paperwork all filled out and is ready to fax in the last form. This should get him set up for the Spring semester.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day:

Girl gets detention for hugging friends

By Georgina Gustin
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
11/06/2007

MASCOUTAH — A 13-year-old junior high school student was given two days of detention after school officials spotted her hugging friends after school last Friday.

Megan Coulter, an eighth-grade student at Mascoutah Middle School, was hugging her friends goodbye after school Friday when vice principal, Randy Blakely, saw her and told her she would receive two after-school detentions.

Blakely had previously warned Coulter that she was in violation of the school's policy on public displays of affection after she was seen hugging a student at a football game. [Isn't usually meant to curb kissing, etc between couples? Also couldn't shaking hands be construded as a public display of affection, in a warped way? Then would not the administration be equally guilty if they shook hands with anyone?]

The school's policy says that “displays of affection should not occur on the campus at any time.”
Coulter's mother, Melissa Coulter, says she has requested to speak with the School Board at its next meeting, and is mystified about the punishment leveled at her daughter.

Mascoutah Superintendent Sam McGowen said today that the district's policy helps prevent misunderstandings and unwelcome expressions of affection. [I wonder if they also gave the hug recipient detention as well - since we've all seen middle school girls both get and receive hugs. If the other girl returned the hug, then she would have been equally guilty following this mentality of thought.]

Bubba and the Shrink

Bubba went to a psychiatrist.

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'

'How much do you charge?'

Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

'I'll sleep on it,' said Bubba.

Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' asked the psychiatrist.

'Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

'Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now !!!'

Git 'er dun!!!!!!!!!

Baptist Cowboy

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of BUD. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

Tuesday

Another busy day. During lunch I took time to play around with some of the really creative features on the camera. I was able to selectively only capture one color (red) in one and the other I switched the color of my purse from red to gray. All within the camera - no Photoshop involved!

I had a really nice surprise this evening. I rung up Ms Danielle and actually got her! It was terrific to hear her voice. I'm so glad that they are doing well and hope that both she and Ben do a fantastic job in their classes this semester. I also found out that Miss Faith is growing like a weed. I bet that she is so grown up now.

Monday

I had a busy day at work as usual.

This evening I headed off to dance class, the class tonight is the first of three on the Foxtrot. Fun stuff. The classes are quite enjoyable and it is surely nice to be out with other people who aren't grumpy, grouchy or griping.

Sunday Cookout

Afternoon. After getting settled back into the new time settings, the afternoon promises to be busy. Walt & I are off to Mom & Dad's house to help package deer burger.

Walter & I went out to visit with Mom & Dad this afternoon. They were grinding deer burger with Tim & Elda.

Walter became the designated-griller and did a great job. He grilled up some terrific burgers.


I took a few photos to test out some of the new camera settings. I got this one of the Chef and his supervisor.

I also got this great close-up of Miss Abby.

Saturday

I was up and at it early this morning. Walter & I headed out around 6:30 a.m. this morning to stop by Kohl's for a couple of their early bird specials. I was able to get almost half of my Christmas shopping done in about 30 minutes. I just love being able to run in get what I want and get out in record time. Speed shopping!

Afterwards we hit the road for Urbanna, and a good thing too! When we arrived we were able to get decent parking near the bridge.

We did the walk through the entire town. Sampled an oyster burger, crab cake sandwiches, oyster fritters (these were fabulous!), and she-crab soup. There was one vendor selling old-fashioned soda, we purchased tin mugs and were able to refill all day for one price. There was plenty of music to listen to as well, I counted 6 bands in various areas of town - later I counted 12 in the program that were playing at different times during the day.

We went down to the harbour area and were able to climb aboard the replica of the Godspeed, which was up from Jamestown for the event. It was really neat to see. Walter was a bit disappointed when he found out that it is powered by twin diesel engines. Oh well, at least it looks good.

We stopped in just about every booth that was out. One had some really nice outdoor rockers made of white oak. They were beautiful. The man even had his own rocker there that has been outdoors for 18 years - and it still looked great! One of the local shops was selling fudge - of course that was something that we had to pick up. Walter even had chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick. An interesting looking concoction, but he says it was delicious.

Around 12:30 p.m, the effects of way too many oysters and various other forms of seafood hit and I was pretty sure that Walter was going to slip into an oyster coma and sleep for a couple of days. So we headed on back home to put our feet up and be really, really Lazy for the rest of the afternoon. As we crossed the bridge out of town and up to the car - the line of cars that were coming into town stretched back out of town about 1/2 mile or more. It was unreal. I'm glad we were able to get out without any trouble.

Ya'll don't forget to set the clocks back an hour this evening, or you'll miss that extra hour of sleep.

Friday

Morning. There are bunches of new stuff in the email gleaning pile this morning. Enjoy!

I had a few spare minutes this evening and put together these videos from the Celtic Festival on Sunday. The first one isn't all that great, but the music from the bagpipes makes it worth it. The second video shows the boys at the Axe Throwing Competition at the Celtic Festival on Sunday. As you can see they both did a pretty fair job. What was really funny was that ALL DAY Sean had been hitting the bulls eye on a consistent basis, while Walter was missing it. So when Walter actually starting hitting the target it was a momentous occasion.

Thought For the Day: Thirty-five is when you get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

Frog and Horse

Can you tell the difference between a horse and a frog?

Watch closely...

My husband and I had been happily
married (most of the time)
for five years
but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious
praying and promised God
that if he would give us acild,
I would be a perfect mother,
love it with all my heart
and raise it with His word
as my guide.

God answered my prayers
and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us
with another son.

The following year,
He blessed us with
yet another son.

The year after that we
were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd
been blessed right into poverty.
We now had four children,
and the oldest was only
four years old.

I learned never to ask God
for anything unless I meant it.
As a minister once told me,
"If you pray for rain,
make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses
of the Bible to the children
each day as they lay in their cribs.

I was off to a good start.
God had entrusted me
with four children and
I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day
the children smashed
two dozen eggs on
the kitchen floor searching
for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding...
when they started a hotel for
homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours
to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured
ketchup all over herself and
rolled up in a blanket to see
how it felt to be a hot dog,
I tried to see the humor
rather than the mess.

In spite of changing over
twenty-five thousand diapers,
never eating a hot meal
and never sleeping for more
than thirty minutes at a time,
I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise
to be a perfect mother -
I didn't even come close...
I did keep my promise
to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark
just a little when I told
my daughter we were going
to church to worship God,
and she wanted to bring
a bar of soap along to
"wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost
in the translation when
I explained that
God gave us everlasting life,
and my son thought it was
generous of God to give
us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came
during the children's
Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary,
two of my sons were shepherds
and my youngest son was a wise man.
This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd
had practiced his line,
"We found the babe wrapped
in swaddling clothes."

But he was nervous and said,
"The baby was wrapped
in wrinkled clothes."

My four-year-old "Mary" said,
"That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly.
That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out
between Mary and the shepherd
and was stopped by an angel,
who bent her halo and lost
her left wing.

I slouched a little lower
in my seat when Mary
dropped the doll representing
Baby Jesus, and it bounced
down the aisle crying,
"Mama-mama."

Mary grabbed the doll,
wrapped it back up
and held it tightly as
the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward
wearing a bathrobe
and a paper crown,
knelt at the manger
and announced,
"We are the three wise men,
and we are bringing gifts
of gold,
common sense
and fur."

The congregation
dissolved into laughter,
and the pageant
got a standing ovation.

"I've never enjoyed a Christmas
program as much as this one,"
laughed the pastor,
wiping tears from his eyes.

"For the rest of my life,
I'll never hear the
Christmas story without
thinking of
gold,
common sense
and fur."

"My children are my pride
and my joy and my greatest
blessing," I said as I dug
through my purse for an aspirin.

Jesus had no servants,
yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree,
yet they called Him Teacher.

Had no medicines,
yet they called Him Healer.

Had no army,
yet kings feared Him.

He won no military battles,
yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime,
yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb,
yet He lives today.

Feel honored
to serve such a Leader
who loves us.

Thursday

Well, no email photos of Miss Faith in her Halloween costume. I thought for sure that I would get one today. Oh well, maybe some day.

This afternoon, Walter dropped by work right at the end of the day to go with me to get tires for the car. I had one go flat on Tuesday, and I drove a bit too far on it so it needed to be replaced. I did wind up getting two, not that I was in desperate need of two, but thought it best.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

Thought For the Day: Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning. - Joseph Campbell

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

* * * * * * * * *

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

* * * * * * * * *

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .

* * * * * * * * *

...IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City

* * * * * * * * *

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

* * * * * * * * *

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS .

* * * * * * * * *

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

* * * * * * * * *

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

* * * * * * * * *

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!!!