Sunday, January 9, 2011

Finally Get Back in the Swing of Things

Saturday started off the weekend snowy, boy did I want to stay home. But duty called and I was off to a morning at the office. We did get a whole lot accomplished (more than I thought we would). Although going out turned out to be a really good thing. I got some great pictures of the snow before it melted off.

I'm finally getting myself back into the swing of things. I'm getting myself back into my class assignments and getting set to finish up my classes. They've been hanging out too long. Time to really get it done. I only have eight classes to go and just really need to do them. Procrastination has not been my friend.

The sis has been going through a whole lot with her youngest since the first of the year, the poor little guy has a case of pneumonia. Got so bad this weekend he had to be admitted to the hospital. So far the pneumonia is confined to one lung and he seems not to be bothered by it except when he goes to sleep at night. We're waiting now to hear back from his doctors about an update on his newest x-rays.

Email & Newsletter Gleanings:

#2 Pencil

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class..

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.

Baptist Dinner For Eight

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak, but, mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, No mushrooms, they are too high.

He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms?
There are plenty in the creek bed.'

She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'

He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.'

So, Janet decided to give it a try She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ole' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.

Ole' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ole' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played Phase
10 and Mexican train dominoes. About then, the helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Janet's ear, 'Mrs Williams, Ole' Spot just died'

Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible.

We' ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine.. Just keep them calm.'

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMT's and the doctor had suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said,

'I think everything will be fine now.' Then he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room, and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, that fellow that ran over Ole' Spot never even stopped.

No comments: